Funny Google Searches

Let me explain to you how our days usually start here in Roatán.

At about 5:30am, sunlight starts to peak through the curtains, it’s heat and brightness capable of waking me if I am in only a light slumber.  If that doesn’t do it, then at about 6am, the idiotic delightful tropical birds begin their obnoxious cheery songs for the day.  It is usually sometime between 6 and 7 that all four of our eyelids pop open and we complain are excited about starting our day so early.

But sometimes, I will manage to sleep through the heat and the birdsongs, only to be awoken by one last disturbance – Pete’s snorting laughter as he lays in bed with the laptop propped up on his crossed legs, going over the statistics from our blog the day before.

No, he’s not laughing at the inadequacy of our visitor stats (some days, anyways), but instead is loudly chuckling over the funny things that bring people to our blog via the search engines. And once I give in to wakefullness and peek over at to read with him, I can’t control my laughter either.

Seriously.  Who googles this shit?

Some of these are just too good not to share. And we always have a good time trying to figure out which blog post it was that brought them there.  Some of them are easy to determine, and others, we still haven’t figured out.


“Iguana vs. coconut”
P
retty sure this reader found the post about Pete eating coconut stewed iguana here on the island. But I really wonder where the “versus” comes in.  Like, who would win in a fight between an iguana and a coconut? Unless the iguana is some sort of machete-wielding-ninja type, then I think I’ll put my money on the defense system of the coconut.

Where in the hell are you going next Dalene and Pete?We got this search before we revealed our decision to go to Ireland when we leave Honduras. Ha ha, Google! Even you didn’t know about that yet!


Our photo essay on Newfoundland brought in some good traffic.  Perhaps we’ll try to work these key details into our next post however, as people seem to be curious about Where to buy Westfalia tires Newfoundland and Essays on if Newfoundland is a good place to love. I believe that our reference to icebergs in this post also brought along this little gem of a search: Iceberg lake micighan-worth see Why yes, this would be a “worth see” if it was at all possible for icebergs to be in Lake Michigan.

Not sure if the same person is responsible for both of the following searches, but if so, he/she is really on the fence about whether or not to hit the road with his/her mother: I want to travel with my Mom and I don’t want to travel with my Mom.” For the record, I had a wonderful experience when my Mom came to visit us here in Honduras.


Naked snow shovelers
Dude, I think you’ve found a new market for porn that may not exist.  UnFortunately, you won’t find it here.  But you will find our game of Would You Rather with Warren and Betsy, where we did talk about vacationing in winter-y Russia and scuba diving in our birthday suits.


Is it posible to have a vehicle spray painted and travel long distance dust roads immidiately
Good question. I’m guessing no. Especially along this road.


Corporate clubing, hot mamaz, everything new, my life
I’m not sure what to say about this. Guessing that dude had a hot night in a club where he met some ladies, and wants to see if his exciting new life made front page news somewhere?  Landed him on the wrong page, unless he was happy to find this guest post I did for the Smokin’ Hot Mamas Club.  This post also brought in people looking for: Honduras hot mamasand Hot mama 435 in california.

This one might be my favorite, and I’d like to know what this person was on when he/she googled it: Pictures of a bad chocolate chip and a scary cookie.  I hope that this picture is what you were looking for friend, but I also have a great recipe for chocolate chip cookies.

And then there are the list of searches that brought people to our site, but we have NO idea how or why:

  • “Bad shit that’s happened lately” Umm, we didn’t do it.
  • “I was robbed of my diamond Breitling in Mexico”Umm, we didn’t take it.
  • “Meaning of ‘way to go, guys'” Is the meaning of that phrase not clear?
  • “Show me a pic how to make a declaration of independence poster for kids” No clue.

Enjoy these? Then you’ll love Michael Hodson’s posts about the spam comments he receives.

 

56 Comments... Read them below or add one of your own
  • May 15 2011

    Completely bizarre. People, I mean.
    Andrea recently posted..How to Attend a Black Tie Event While Backpacking

    • May 15 2011

      Bizarre-o, absolutely. AND entertaining! 🙂

  • May 15 2011

    “Naked snow shovelers” Thanks for the idea for my next web project 😉

    • May 15 2011

      Instant success, I am sure. Good luck finding some “models” willing to do it! 🙂

  • May 15 2011

    So far our search strings have been pretty tame but I bet as we hit the road & write up some interesting stuff it will get fun & wacky. Iguana vs coconut got me thinking of a tropical Monty Python… Great post! 🙂

    • May 15 2011

      We have some more good ones that we’ve held back and will release along the way. 🙂 I’m sure yours will start rolling in soon! People SURE are creative out there!

  • Seattle
    May 16 2011

    Hahaha those are all hilarious!! I’ve seen some pretty funny ones on mine too.. Should start keeping track
    Seattle recently posted..Want to Help Taco &amp I Win 500 in Groceries

    • Pete
      May 16 2011

      They just don’t stop either. We probably get one oddball search daily that we shake our heads at 😉

  • May 16 2011

    Love, love, love posts like this! Makes running a website so much more fun and worthwhile. And thanks for the shout-out!
    Michael Hodson recently posted..So Bad It’s Good- Eurovision Song Contest

    • Pete
      May 16 2011

      Us too Michael! It certainly does make running a site more entertaining. It’s usually the first thing we look at for analytics and hope for some off the wall searches. We loved your post on humorous spam posts so no problem for the shout-out.

  • May 16 2011

    Love it.

    I think all of us get some good ones. Anything having to do with hating/loving/quitting your job typically brings them to my site. Sometimes the context of what was googled is always funny.

    oh, and naked snow shovelers, that was me, sorry. Somehow it let to Pete’s Bio page. I am thoroughly disturbed now…
    Justin Hamlin recently posted..Foto Friday – May 13- 2011

    • Pete
      May 16 2011

      It’s really funny how they end up on your site with what they are looking for. Sorry ’bout where the naked snow shoveling led you….

  • Giggles. I haven’t looked at these in awhile, but last time I did there were definitely not any gems like these though. They were all pretty boring. Maybe I should write more about scary cookies and naked moms?
    jill- Jack and Jill Travel The World recently posted..Looking for imperfection in Guatapé

    • Pete
      May 16 2011

      i’m going to try search scary cookies and naked moms and see what comes up. If it’s our site we have done something seriously wrong with SEO, 😉

  • May 16 2011

    hahahaha hilarious!
    I love the scary looking chocolate chip too!
    cailin recently posted..My South Shore Adventure in Iceland Part 2

    • Pete
      May 16 2011

      Cheers Cailin. It is a pretty evil looking cookie. But seriously, who thinks of that stuff?

  • May 16 2011

    My favourite is Naked Snow Shovelers. I don’t know why I didn’t think of searching for them earlier. I mean, who doesn’t need a naked snow shoveler:-)
    Dave and Deb recently posted..Offbeat Activities at Rancho La Puerta

    • Pete
      May 16 2011

      Ha! I don’t know why I didn’t think of it either (when we had a driveway to shovel that is…) Somebody is onto something here, I guess there is a market for it 😉

  • May 16 2011

    Let me know when you write about the naked snow shovelers. 🙂

    At least the model in the picture is wearing Philadelphia Flyers colors.
    Don Faust recently posted..Cruising Carnival- Magic Style- Venice Photo Essay

    • Pete
      May 17 2011

      Yes sir, I think that is a shoveler for the Flyers 😉

  • LOL!! Now I’m curious as to what kind of searches THIS post will generate! 😛
    Christy @ Technosyncratic recently posted..The Pros and Cons of Living in an RV

    • Pete
      May 17 2011

      I know, I am wondering the same…. Probably a follow-up post 😉

  • May 17 2011

    Epic! “Naked snow shovelers”, seriously? why, people, why?? 😀

  • May 17 2011

    Our interest in naked snow shoveling is how we got turned on to you guys. I don’t see what is so funny about that?
    The NVR Guys recently posted..On Working Virtually – Differentiate Yourself

    • Pete
      May 17 2011

      Yep, nothing funny at all. We’re hardcore in Canada when it comes to shovelin’ 😉

  • Abby
    May 16 2011

    These are hilarious. I get some funny ones, too. I should start reading them more often! Great idea for a post!

    • Pete
      May 17 2011

      Thanks Abby, glad you enjoyed 🙂

  • May 17 2011

    Very funny! My favourite googler from the past week found me by typing in “dont stab darren” — I think I’m drawing the wrong kind of reader… 🙂
    Raymond recently posted..Travel Photo of the Week — Getting Grilled in Göreme- Turkey

    • Pete
      May 17 2011

      Oh my… It’s crazy isn’t it how these folks arrive at our sites…

  • My first visit here, looks like it’s going to take awhile for me to catch up. Still amazed at your selling everything and hitting the road! And to think I have been so smug about dropping everything in Canada and moving to Italy – but then I stopped! Looking forward to reading more!
    Joanne at Frutto della Passione recently posted..Yellow pepper pasta

    • Pete
      May 18 2011

      Welcome Joanne! I’d be smug about living in Italy – we love it there. Hopefully will be coming your way this fall!

  • May 17 2011

    This is only funny for bloggers but someone found The Aussie Nomad’s site under “Bacon is Magic PR Rank” someone is creeping me!
    Ayngelina recently posted..San Telmo Steakhouse Smackdown

    • Pete
      May 18 2011

      Creeper! (It wasn’t us) 🙂

  • Kim
    May 18 2011

    Haha, I love it. It’s so fun seeing what people google. I’ve had a few laugh out loud searches on my own site. Likewise, I’m not terrified of googling anything even remotely embarrasing.

    • Pete
      May 18 2011

      I’m terrified of it now! I’d hate to one day find myself on someone’s “top google searches” list! 🙂

  • May 19 2011

    Omg, this is hilarious. Tell people Newfoundland is a WONDERFUL place to live!

    • May 19 2011

      But, where could I tell them to find Westfalia tires? 🙂

  • May 19 2011

    haha, love this post. Its so funny sometimes to see what people search for. That people search for naked show shoveling is new to me 🙂

    • May 19 2011

      And scary cookies? Seriously, who are these people?

  • May 22 2011

    LOL, you’re hilarious, I also have some gems for Google searches that brought people to my blog, the previous one though Travel Calling, such as “How women look for sex in Dubai” and “Are Southern Italians Arabs?” or “Are Southern Italians black?” 😛

    • May 22 2011

      Haha! Those are GOLD! I wonder though…how DO women in Dubai look for sex? 🙂

  • May 25 2011

    So funny!! You do wonder who are these people searching for stuff? Is it deliberate? An accident? Are they drunk or on drugs?

    Naked snow shovelers huh? What kind of crazy website did I land on here? 🙂

    • Pete
      May 25 2011

      I know right, and they just keep coming. We’ve had some head-shakers lately that we’ll be throwing out in catch-up post soon

  • Tom
    May 25 2011

    Haha some of these are brilliant! The cookie one LOL!

    I’ve had “tight gays”, “catsuit”, and “Busan transvestites” all link to mine…none of which I’ve ever done a blog post about. The guy looking for Busan transvestites even e-mailed me for more information…of which there was none on my site about this subject to begin with…
    Tom recently posted..Mimes &amp Museums

    • Pete
      May 25 2011

      Yes, we had a good laugh about the cookie. I can’t believe they actually e-mailed you for more information on Busan trannies. Wait, I seem to recall an article, nevermind…. 😉

  • Your getting some interesting stuff. Thanks for sharing, I got a good chuckle a few times. I’m impressed with your ability to find photos matching those search strings.
    Mike Lenzen | Traveled Earth recently posted..Travel Documentation

    • Pete
      May 29 2011

      We might of had to do some altering 😉 but the snow shoveler has not been ps’d in any way..

  • Theodora
    May 31 2011

    My searches usually show up spelling errors and typos after the event…

  • June 2 2011

    Very entertaining! Maybe I should take a look at what we have 🙂
    Dina recently posted..Best of Australia by Travelers Around the World

  • June 5 2011

    Google searches completely and totally make my day. I really wonder who searches for some of the completely batshit crazy stuff I see. Insanity!
    Sheryll recently posted..Why Going To A Therapist is Badass

    • June 6 2011

      I know, right? I think there must be alcohol involved in most cases… 🙂

  • July 21 2011

    Random!!! I always wonder what people are thinking when they google something and come to my site, mostly b/c the google searches are so off the wall. Love these searches!
    dtravelsround recently posted..Escape of the Week: Underground Berlin

  • latinAbroad
    September 3 2011

    LOL!! That is hilarious. You know, I’ve been thinking about making a similar post on my travel site, since with my main site being “Latinabroad.com” you can just guess how many porn keywords show up on my analytics: Latinabroad with huge ____, hardcore latina broad” …etc etc..!! XD however, yours is more original: Naked snow shovelers!? REALLY? People have some WEIRD fetiches!

    • Pete
      September 3 2011

      No doubt, I can imagine the searches that show up for you, LOL. And yes, there are some strange fetishes…

  • Marija
    August 9 2012

    Absolutely hilarious. Made me grin like an idiot on a very grey day, so thanks 😀

    • August 10 2012

      Every month in our newsletter we share more of these. We get some really good ones!

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