Division of Labour

For those of you who have known Pete and I since the beginning of our relationship, you might recall a little nickname he had at the start. It began with a B and ended with an Itch…as in, he was mine. He earned that nickname because, yes, he did do that much for me, and, yes, I am that lucky. It was not given to him by me, but by friends who were either admirers (mine) or who were trying to discourage him from setting a precedent (his).

Like every relationship does after eleven years, it evolves, and he dropped that nickname some time ago. And it’s not because he stopped being a diligent and caring spouse, but as life becomes routine, so do the tasks, and we each slipped into specific roles. I did most of the cooking, we split the cleaning, I did laundry and he took care of all outside chores. He handled the finances and I was in charge of making sure our two furbabies were well loved (that one’s fair, right?)

But when a couple travels together, all former routines disappear with the tasks that are no longer. Pete has no lawn to cut and I have no cats left to love (*sigh*). Our relationship has evolved yet again, and as any traveling twosome can attest to, it can be hard. Never mind the strenuous fact that we are now together 24/7/365 (what other couples ever really do that?), but the first few months are also about redefining roles and establishing a new “routine”.  Like: who’s in charge of booking the next bus trip and who’s turn is it to wash our underwear in the sink?

Here’s where Pete and I have landed. I’d be very interested to hear what routines other couples find themselves in!

Cooking – When we have access to a kitchen, and the time to do so, we love to eat in. Not only does it save money, it allows us to enjoy some of our “comfort” food from home. While I used to be the chef in the house, this duty has passed to Pete. Thankfully, he has taken it on without grudge, as he has found a new passion in the kitchen.

Dishes – Me. He cooks, I clean up afterwards. That’s the deal. Pretty easy going for me though, he is a very considerate cook and cleans up well after himself.

Writing – This one’s mostly mine, as I’m in charge of keeping the blog up to date and coming up with new ideas. As this blog expands into other things, I think some sort of renegotiation is going to have to happen here. Maybe I can get him to take on dishes? We’ll see.

Bug Slayer - Pete. This may not take up a bunch of his time, but it is the most important job in this marriage. Period. If there is a hungry bug within a ten mile radius, it will find me – my blood is apparently magically delicious. It is Pete’s job to protect me from all things creepy and crawly. That includes killing cockroaches at 2 am to clear my path to the bathroom if necessary. He does this job well.

Laundry - Um, both. He likes to wash his underwear in the shower, so I’ll hand him my dirties to do at the same time. Not a huge deal (unless I’ve been wearing that underwear for a few days!), but most often we’re both lugging bags to the laundromat anyways. Blessed be when we are house sitting and have access to our own washer and dryer, of which we are both happy to use. What luxury!

Research – We are typically not big planners, but I’m usually the one to scope out which hostels or activities to consider in the next town.  Or which towns to go to in the first place.  This is an awful lot of work, and I’ve only led us wrong a few times.

Is this list set and stone?  Does it mean we don’t still have the occasional scrap over stuff that needs to be done? No, and no. Each day is a little evolution onto itself and when things happen (i.e. a torn achilles tendon!), it all changes again. And, for my benefit, at least Pete completed his b + itch training early, so that I am well taken care of when such things happen.  =)